


Played for Fools

by Kalira



Category: Naruto
Genre: (Ish) - Freeform, Anbu Yamato | Tenzou, BAMF Umino Iruka, Blackmail, Community: trope_bingo, Cuddling & Snuggling, Despite Serious Topics, Extortion, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Hurt/Comfort, Identity confusion, Kidnapping, Light-Hearted, M/M, Minor Violence, Mistaken Identity, Multi, Strangulation, Threats, Trope Bingo Round 14, Umino Iruka Is So Done, Umino Iruka is a Good Ninja, while writing this I called it 'the fluffy blackmail KakaIruTenzou fic'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:28:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23913832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalira/pseuds/Kalira
Summary: Iruka is faced with a group of enemy nin who hope to press him to their own advantage. The most difficult part of this confrontation may be getting out of it without laughing in his captors' faces. . .
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 22
Kudos: 345
Collections: Trope Bingo Round 14, Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Played for Fools

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 'extortion/blackmail' space on my [Trope Bingo board](https://kalira.dreamwidth.org/24550.html)!
> 
> Also a first try at a new ship! It was in part the last piece (Senpai's Gone Spare) I've written for my series Iruka's Two Boyfriends that made me really see them as a possibility for myself, finally. . .
> 
> There's a couple of things that are semi-implied but _not_ in the fic (the implications of infidelity are wrong and the other is just skeeviness that goes nowhere) that could be distressing; if you're concerned about the content or would like more details, they are outlined in the end note.

Iruka stretched, rolling his neck and flexing his shoulders as he passed out of training ground thirty-four and headed back in towards the glowing lights of Konoha proper. He grumbled a little under his breath; Kakashi hadn’t _needed_ to pull him in this morning, co-opting the time he’d winnowed out to train before he needed to get to the Academy. But it had been nice to see Kakashi, even if he had feigned it being work-related for as long as he could manage, leading to some frustrating confusion.

Iruka shook his head, laughing a little as he remembered Kakashi’s sheepish look and the soft purr of his apology as he tugged Iruka in close with both hands curling around his hips. He tightened his ponytail and rubbed the back of his neck; he could still feel the vague, impossible to pin down presence nearby and made a note to talk to Kakashi about his over-protectiveness again sometime soon. Iruka yawned; he was looking forward to a hot shower and then to bed, as soon as he got-

Iruka grit his teeth against a cry as something caught him, _hard_ , at the back of the neck, and realised only after completing his instinctive dodge of them that there had been _ropes_ sweeping for him at ankle height. He palmed a kunai with a concealed exploding tag and a handful of shuriken as he whirled, eyes sweeping rapidly over his surroundings.

Iruka’s eyes widened as he caught a glint of light off a Joumae hitai-ate. _Fuck_ , what were they doing in Konoha? And _how_?

The next time, Iruka told himself as he ducked another rope trap closing where his arm and shoulder had been, that Kakashi called him in for ‘work’, Iruka was going to push him into going over the patrol schedule and security on the outer wall. Iruka ran some possible adjustments through in his mind as he evaded again and threw the shuriken.

He got one of the approaching nin across the thigh and huffed quietly, amused and not impressed, as the man cried out in pain, his blood spattering across the dirt.

He brought his kunai up just in time to block the swing of a kusarigama and kicked out sideways, knocking the feet from under another of his attackers. He hadn’t the space to get off a signal jutsu and they were too far from both the walls and the busier parts of the village to attract attention. Accordingly Iruka fought quick and quiet, taking down another of his attackers in a clean sweep at her midriff. He choked as something caught around his throat, lashing out and twisting away, gasping, but it had to be more than rope snaring him as he found blackness pressing in around him far too rapidly for only strangulation to be the cause. Iruka cursed and felt himself go limp a moment before reality receded.

He never quite lost consciousness, but the world remained hazy and only vaguely discernible beyond blackness for some time. He was distantly aware of being moved, and his throat burned from the choking pressure and- and something more than just the pressure that sparked something achily rough beneath the heat.

“Ne, Iruka-sensei. . . Time to wake up and talk to us. . .”

Iruka was jerked painfully as hands seized him, and he cringed, allowing the impulse to take over his face and whimpering softly as his throat burned. An open-handed slap to his face would have sent him reeling further if two pairs of hands were not holding him firmly jammed against something hard at his back.

Iruka’s head lolled. “What’s going. . . Where. . .” He wheezed and coughed, still choking breathlessly, squinting as he gained a little more control of his body again, the blackness receding. He didn’t lift his head just yet even as he felt the strength to do so return.

“You’re going to do us a little _favour_ , Iruka-sensei!”

Iruka coughed again and fought back his dubious expression. “You think I’m going to . . . _what_?” he half-wheezed.

“You are!”

“If you do well enough, perhaps we’ll have you do us some more.” A gentle touch stroked over his cheek and then clasped his chin, wiggling it back and forth.

Iruka fought the surge of nausea and shiver of anxiety at having the touch so close to his throat. There was nothing he could do right now, but they wanted him alive to _do_ something for them. He had time, an opening he could use, perhaps.

“You cannot think I will betray my village.” Iruka said boldly.

“Taichou. . .”

“Oh, we all know how loyal Iruka-sensei is to Konohagakure.”

Iruka raised his gaze to the man they were addressing, presumably their captain, and found him smirking, showing a missing tooth below a twisted scar that notched through his upper lip. Iruka idly assessed the most likely trajectory for a blow to leave such a wound and refreshed the ‘importance of dodging’ lecture he gave his kids in his mind.

“And how _devoted_ you are to your Hokage, Iruka-sensei!” Joumae taichou said, and Iruka hid the frisson of alarm the _tone_ of the comment sent through him. “If not,” the man’s smirk widened, “exactly loyal.”

Iruka’s eyes narrowed. “I have _always_ -”

“Now, now,” Joumae taichou said, and one of the other nin clasped Iruka’s chin tight, forcing it up, jamming his mouth closed even as he tried to speak and baring more of his throat in a gesture that was uncomfortable _before_ it stretched his neck awkwardly, “I know too much for you to fool me. It _is_ quite impressive, what you’ve managed . . . thus far.”

Iruka struggled to speak, succeeding only in a muffled, unintelligible mess as the hand on his jaw was still firmly in place.

“Quite the power kink you have, _chuunin-sensei_.” Joumae taichou smirked at him again, leaning in close. “Enough to make you take quite the set of _risks_ , it seems.”

Iruka’s eyes narrowed. _Power kink._ He thought of the . . . frankly more than half _disaster_ men in his life and barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. However strong they were.

“Was it a disappointment for you when Copy Ninja no Kakashi lost his Sharingan in the war, or did it make up for that nicely when he was named Rokudaime Hokage?”

Iruka listened, watching Joumae taichou, but examined his surroundings and the other nin restraining him as best he could with rather more focus. Idiot. Of course, _Kakashi_ had gone through a self-destructing period when he felt weakened by the loss of his Sharingan . . . not to mention the grief that had come with losing both that gift and Obito all over again.

“Is that why you took up with your ANBU kitty-cat?” Joumae taichou said and Iruka’s eyes snapped back to him. “Needed with something with a little . . . _more_? ANBU are so unstable, though, Iruka-sensei - perhaps you don’t know,” he leaned forwards, thumb trailing down Iruka’s cheek, and his eyes narrowed again, “little _chuunin_. A risky choice.”

Iruka knew quite well what he was getting into, with _both_ -

“Of course, the Rokudaime was once an ANBU as well. At least as unstable. Power so often comes with that risk,” Joumae taichou’s tone softened into something almost sickly sweet with false sympathy that made Iruka want to roll his eyes again, “perhaps you get off on _that_ , too.”

Iruka shifted a little, then winced when his shoulders were yanked back harder once more.

“Let’s not forget that jounin taichou, as well, ah?” Joumae taichou said, and Iruka was hard-pressed not to let his surprise show. Who the hell _else_ did they think Iruka was- “Maybe it’s not that you like the power - although the only living user of the mokuton, got to be a hell of a boost to have him at your beck, eh?”

Iruka barely resisted the urge to grit his teeth.

“Maybe it’s not the power, though; maybe once Hatake was made a Kage he didn’t have enough _time_ to,” Joumae taichou let his hand slide lower, down to Iruka’s collarbone, “attend to you in the manner you’ve grown _accustomed to_. You just _had_ to look elsewhere.”

Iruka fumed inwardly at the insinuation, but didn’t let it show, keeping his face mostly impassive, allowing the occasional tremor of unease.

“A pity you wouldn’t set your sights perhaps . . . a little _lower_.”

Iruka twitched at the voice near his left ear.

“It really is.” the nin at his right side continued, leaning closer, her fingers digging into Iruka’s shoulder with a tighter grip. He realised she was missing the smallest one on her left hand and half of the next; an unusual injury for an _active duty_ ninja - missing fingers was usually a career-ending injury. One way or another.

“After all,” Joumae taichou said, his hand sliding down Iruka’s chest, “some of us don’t _mind_ sharing.”

Iruka’s stomach knotted.

“Especially not something so pretty.” missing fingers said with a laugh.

“He’s _got_ to be more than just pretty, too,” the nin at his left countered, “to keep the Rokudaime, that fucking mokuton bastard, and an ANBU all-”

He fell silent as Joumae taichou clicked his tongue. Iruka glared, still kept silent behind the nin’s hand.

“He _is_ more than just pretty. He’s _trusted_.” Joumae taichou smiled at him. It wasn’t any nicer than his smirks had been. “So he’s _perfect_ to do us that little favour. Aren’t you, Iruka-sensei?” The smile sharpened.

Iruka’s eyes narrowed and he huffed, twisting his shoulders only to be hauled back, coughing as the rope he had almost forgotten was quickly flicked up around his neck and drawn tight again. He gasped for breath against the renewed heat.

“That’s better.” Joumae taichou waved a hand, airy and careless. “We know you’re a desk nin as well as a chuunin sensei,” he laughed, “it was why we were watching you. And now, knowing what you are to the Rokudaime Hokage . . . well,” he grinned sharply, “you’re an even better choice.”

Iruka tried to think for _what_ ; something in the Archives no doubt, something from the Hokage Tower or his work with the mission desk maybe. . . This was a _stupid_ risk they were taking, whatever it was they wanted. Knowing his relationship to Kakashi only meant they knew even _more_ of the risk it really was, or should have.

“I’m sure you can get at what we need,” another ugly little laugh, “even if you have to wheedle for access. I’d wager you already have, at that.”

“Assuming he needs to _wheedle_ for anything.” missing fingers said, her free hand sliding down his side and pinching.

Iruka jerked. _Wheedle_ ; as though Kakashi had the first idea about the filing system in the Archives without him. In fact occasionally Iruka wished he was rather _less_ integral to the running of things in Hokage Tower. His classes took enough energy as it was, along with his mission desk shifts, his own - now _very_ \- occasional missions, then helping Kakashi. . . Leave _aside_ trying to find any spare time with his lovers - and these morons thought he somehow managed _three_? While hiding them from each other?

Iruka _wished_ he had that amount of free time.

He wistfully contemplated all he could get done with it, if he had - perhaps even getting his lovers to _settle down_ and rest as well - while cringing back and glaring. He listened closely to what Joumae taichou wanted him to get from the Archives, though, trying idly to think of what they might want with those files.

Joumae taichou nodded his head and there was a huffy little sound from the nin to his left before Iruka was free to speak again. He used his first moment just to _breathe_ , wiggling his jaw and easing his neck a little. Then he glared up at the man. “You _have_ to know there’s no _way_ I’ll do what you want. _Get_ what you want.”

That provoked a laugh, and Iruka played up the tension that shivered through him, letting them see it clearly.

“I think you’ll do whatever I want you to.” Joumae taichou said, leaning very close to Iruka’s face. It was less bothersome as Iruka fancied he could hear Kakashi’s hitching rumble of a laugh and Tenzou’s quiet cough, the one that meant _I am too polite to laugh at you_ , in response to that assertion. “So listen up-”

“What kind of ninja do you think I am?” Iruka said, impatient. “I know what you want, I’m _not_ going to help you.” He lifted his chin. “Not against my own village.”

Joumae taichou made an angry sound low in his throat - Iruka couldn’t tell if it was intentional, to intimidate him, or an actual loss of control - then smiled. “You will.” he said again, and Iruka braced himself.

He wasn’t quite prepared for the touch running down his chest, _gently_ , and he pulled back as much as he could, letting only a little of his distaste show.

“What do you think will happen,” Joumae taichou said with a low laugh, “if your lovers were to _find out_ about your little kink and how you play them to fulfil it?”

Iruka stiffened, opening his mouth and then snapping it shut. _Kink?_ He wondered what the hell the man thought he was _doing_. With his supposedly three lovers.

Joumai taichou’s laugh was much louder this time. “Ah, haha! You know you have everything to lose if you don’t keep control of this, don’t you, Iruka-sensei?”

“I. . .” Iruka looked away, swallowing. What the _hell_.

“Well, I’m sure they know about your desires,” Joumae taichou stroked his cheek and Iruka jerked his head away, “ah yes, I am not _strong_ enough for a man not even satisfied by keeping a Kage in his bed.” he said, withdrawing his hand with a laugh. Iruka’s lip curled. “They may even find it appealing - how much you _want_ them for their power, and that they fulfil that desire for you; it would be difficult to hide your leanings. The Rokudaime Hokage is a smart man, and stupid ANBU do not live long. . .”

Long enough to cause problems, Iruka thought, a bit maudlin, recalling some of the horrible things he had pieced together from _both_ of his lovers.

“What if, however,” Joumae taichou leaned close once more, cupping Iruka’s jaw in a parody of a caress, “they were to discover that none of them are truly enough for you alone? To discover what - and who - you’ve been at while they aren’t watching?”

Iruka stilled, slowly raising his gaze.

“ANBU are . . . so very unstable.” Joumae taichou said, then laughed. “I should know. . .” He reached up and brushed his face, the end of the scar over his mouth, and Iruka’s eyes widened. “Cat even takes shifts guarding your Hokage. You must be good, that he hasn’t yet found you spreading yourself for the Rokudaime.”

Iruka’s face flushed with a combination of embarrassment and fury. He also couldn’t help but remember being spread out on Kakashi’s desk, a whimpering mess under Kakashi’s _mouth_ , his cock aching and untouched, when Kakashi had summoned Tenzou - _on duty_ \- in to them with a flicker of chakra.

“It wouldn’t take much to _upset_ that balance, now would it, Iruka-sensei?”

Iruka glared at Joumae taichou, pressing backwards as though he was cringing away. Upset the balance. For fuck’s sake.

“What do you think the _village_ would do, finding out that the _beloved_ Iruka-sensei is betraying their Hokage so?” Joumae taichou said almost silkily. “Finding that you’re keeping some of Konohagakure’s elite on your string and playing them all. . . Not exactly the sweet chuunin-sensei they think you are, and they would all _know_.”

“Ninja.” Iruka spat, shoulders tense. “None of us are _innocent_.”

“Tch, maybe.” Joumae taichou scoffed, looking at his underling. “Reiketsu Kakashi . . . _Nakamagoroshi no Kakashi_ ;” he looked back at Iruka, “even if your village _didn’t_ turn on you for that betrayal, even if you’re right about that . . . he won’t react well either, I’m sure. And a Kage. . .”

“Won’t happen.” Iruka said stoutly, looking shiftily sideways. He ignored the flare of fury on Kakashi’s behalf at the _hated_ names.

“Which of your lovers do you think will survive, if it comes to that?” Joumae taichou laughed. “Certainly that civilian photojournalist you toy with when he’s in town would be the first to go.”

Iruka blinked, startled, then dropped his gaze, looking away, at the ground. _Sukea._ They had seen Iruka with Sukea and- Drat Kakashi, Iruka thought, and his _utter unwillingness to hold his tongue and his hands_. Not that Iruka had exactly protested the flirtatious exchanges or the time together _without_ Kakashi being hounded down for work or. . .

“Of course you very well might not live to see who of your lovers makes it to the end,” Joumae taichou said, soft again, gentle, “you are playing a dangerous game and you don’t control your pieces so well as you think, Iruka-sensei. Going behind the back of an ANBU?” He tsked. “And how long do you think you will survive once Nakamagoroshi no Kakashi discovers you and your _others_?”

“That’s not-” Iruka started, only to be silenced by a firm shove at his ribs that knocked the breath from him and bruised his back.

“What do you think Konohagakure will think of your Rokudaime after he turns on his own ninja?” Joumae taichou questioned and Iruka flinched. “And the other villages? When they find out that _Reikotsu Rokudaime_ turned on his own ninja . . . because he was being _cuckolded_ by a chuunin-sensei. . .”

Iruka stiffened.

“The blow to his pride - and the damage it would do-”

“ _Stop._ ” Iruka said, twisting. “Stop, it’s not- I _won’t_. . .” His voice wavered this time.

“You might not be around to see it,” Joumae taichou smirked at him, and one of the others grabbed his ponytail, yanking it back, “but then again, you might at least see the last moments of _some_ of your lovers. ANBU aren’t known for their kindness, any more than their restraint.”

“Stop.” Iruka said again, letting his voice fall into a whine. _Please stop, you insufferable idiot_ , he thought.

“I knew you’d see it our way.” Joumae taichou said, grinning. “Such a little favour,” he chuckled, “for such a _big_ secret.”

“Shut up.” Iruka said, but his head hung when they released his ponytail and his tone was defeated.

“I wonder who you’re protecting,” one of the Joumae nin whispered in his ear, “the village you claim such loyalty to? Your little civilian _toy_? _Yourself?_ ”

“It doesn’t matter.” Joumae taichou said, voice hard. “He’ll do as he’s told. Or he knows the consequences.” He grinned at Iruka again as he looked up through his fringe that had fallen loose around his hitai-ate. “Now. You’re going to get us-”

“Ninja.” Iruka spat. “I remember.”

Joumae taichou actually looked _surprised_ , and Iruka wanted to kick him just for that.

“If you say so,” Joumae taichou said, “you _will_ have the right scrolls for us - no excuses about forgetting, or. . .”

“Or you’ll make sure the whole village knows I’ve been fucking Kakashi. And-” He broke off, looking away.

“Yes.” The smirk was audible. “When you have the scrolls-”

“We’ll find you.” One of the others jerked at his ponytail and he yelped as his neck was stretched out and back. His stomach knotted.

“No.” Joumae taichou said, and Iruka looked at him with some alarm. “You’re a hard man to find, Iruka-sensei - you must be quite busy keeping up with all your . . . _duties_.”

He had _no_ idea, Iruka thought wryly; and damn, he only wished more of his time was spent keeping up with keeping his lovers happy, as they seemed to think.

“So you will meet us, in _three days_.” Joumae taichou ordered. Iruka hid his exasperation and impatience and agreed meekly, listening and hurriedly confirming he would do _just_ what they wanted.

He wasn’t exactly _surprised_ when they kicked the snot out of him and left him winded and dizzy, unable to pick himself up until long minutes after they were gone. It was still unpleasant, and he sat for a few minutes after he had recovered, coughing and wheezing quietly as he checked himself for anything serious by way of injuries.

There was nothing, and he’d deal with everything else once he was home. And in the shower, which he needed even _more_ now. Iruka’s face screwed up with distaste as he dragged himself up to make his way home. He would go to T&I in the morning and set up something to snag the Joumae nin, he knew where they would _be_ if not where they were going to ground now; for tonight. . .

Iruka winced as he stretched his shoulders, slowing a little once he reached the outskirts of the village proper. Once he got far enough in to take to the rooftops, he picked up speed, and he was soon letting himself in with a flare of chakra and a single seal at the door. It was quiet inside, and he kept quiet himself as he locked up again and made his way through the apartment. It was now very late indeed.

He stopped to glance in the bedroom and smiled as he saw Tenzou curled into Kakashi’s side in the centre of their bed. Iruka hummed and closed the door gently before he went to start the shower. He winced as he peeled out of his sweaty, dirty uniform, inspecting himself and finding a good number of proto-bruises and scrapes, but nothing too worrying. He leaned close to the mirror and tipped his head away, inspecting his neck.

There was no broken skin, and a faint flicker of the diagnostic jutsu he knew for the Academy turned up nothing to be concerned about. Iruka groaned and pulled the tie from his hair to step into the shower, shivering as the hot water rushed over him.

It felt good, but Iruka didn’t linger too much all the same; he was tired and he would be sore in the morning, he wanted to get as much sleep as he still _could_ , considering he would have to rise early to see T&I before getting to the Academy. Or perhaps he could go after, he was busy enough. . .

Iruka yawned, scrubbing his hair with a towel as he stepped out of the bathroom naked, padding carefully into the bedroom. Leaving the towel hung over a chair, he dressed in a pair of pyjama pants he didn’t realise until he was crawling into bed were probably Tenzou’s from the way they fit. Ah well.

Tenzou shifted with a mumble and Kakashi rolled onto his back, sighing and not waking. They had made a space between them. Iruka settled himself into it, wriggling to get under the blanket, and smothered a laugh as Kakashi pressed close the moment Iruka was down.

Tenzou made another soft sound in his sleep and Iruka reached for his lover, turning onto his left side. He hissed a little in pain, almost silent.

 _That_ woke his idiot protective jounin.

“Iruka?” Kakashi began, voice thick.

“Beloved?” Tenzou moved towards him, hands coming up.

“Koibito?” Kakashi’s knuckles trailed up his spine. “What happened?”

Tenzou made a low humming sound, a bit tense and fretful. “You. . .”

“I’m fine.” Iruka yawned. “I’m just tired. It was a rough night.”

“. . .it’s late. Why did you stay out training so long?” Kakashi snuggled close against his back, hand smoothing up over his hip, lips brushing his shoulder. “Koibito, you’re. . .”

“There was a little thing,” Iruka said on a sigh, “with some nin from Joumae. I know where they’ll be, I’ll discuss everything with T&I and have them picked up, it’ll be handled. . .”

“ _What?_ ”

“Some idiots wanted me to get them some secure files from the Archives. I have a list.” Iruka gestured vaguely towards his head, then wound his arm around Tenzou’s waist. “They tried to _blackmail_ me by threatening to tell you about each other. And tell Konoha.” He sighed again, nuzzling along Tenzou’s jaw and hugged him close. “I’m so angry they’d even try to _do_ that to you, loves.” he huffed, scowling, and shifted to curl a leg between Kakashi’s, pulling him closer and reaching back to slide a hand over his slender hip and side. “They were _terrible_ infiltrators, though, worst information-gathering ever. . .”

“ _What?_ ” Tenzou jolted up, twisting towards him. “Iruka! Beloved?”

Kakashi pressed closer to him without rising. “ _Iruka._ ” His voice was rough with distress, and Iruka stroked him gently.

“I’m _fine_ ,” he assured his lovers calmly, tightening the arm still looped around Tenzou’s waist, “they _wanted_ me for something, they mostly wanted to scare me into _doing_ that, and they were,” he huffed, grumbling low in his throat, “how _dare_ they. . .” He mumbled, shaking his head, stroking Tenzou’s hip lightly.

He yawned as Tenzou rested a hand on his shoulder soothingly. “I have an even earlier morning tomorrow than I thought, loves, and I’m tired, I-” he broke off, frowning, and opened his eyes. Kakashi’s chest was pressed to his back and he could feel his lover’s heart beating - and it was now spiking into something harsh and too-quick.

Iruka released his grip on Tenzou with a last pat and turned over, careful where he was caught in Kakashi’s arms, to smooth a hand up his side. “Kakashi? Love?” Iruka stroked his face and curled closer. “What’s wrong?” he asked gently, brushing his lips over Kakashi’s cheek.

“You- _Enemy nin_ , Iruka? In Konoha, in our home?” Kakashi looked distressed - suddenly easier to make out as Tenzou turned on the small lamp on his side of the bed. Kakashi pushed himself up a little. “Genjutsu!” he said, a little breathless.

It took a moment for Iruka to realise what he meant - and not that he thought _he_ was in a genjutsu. “No, they did not use genjutsu; I’m fine, love.” Iruka soothed.

“What if it was a double-layered genjutsu, or something to leave a suggestion in your mind?” Tenzou asked fretfully, cuddling closer, his broad hands curling around Iruka protectively, one at his shoulder and one at his waist.

“I’m _fine_.” Iruka reassured them again, but sighed and allowed himself to be checked, running his fingers through Kakashi’s hair comfortingly. When Kakashi eased off a bit Iruka pressed close against him once more; close enough again to feel his heartbeat, which was still too fast. Iruka shifted a little, rubbing his palm up over Kakashi’s hip and waist.

“What _happened_?” Tenzou asked, voice tight, and Iruka stifled a yawn and shifted upwards in their bed. “What if they followed you? What if they’re _watching_ -”

“They’re not.” Iruka soothed, putting a hand on his lover’s thigh. “I knew someone had been around me recently but I thought it was one of the newer ANBU you keep threatening to send after me.” He glanced at Kakashi, who made a grumbling noise about not doing it without permission, and Iruka stroked him apologetically. “If they _were_ following now they’d see how idiotic their plan was,” he added with a sigh, “trust me, they have _no_ idea what happens in our home. He threatened me with making sure you two knew about . . . about each other.” He gestured illustratively at them on either side of him.

Kakashi frowned, looking up at him, and Tenzou’s brow furrowed. “. . .erm?” Tenzou began uncertainly, shifting where he sat.

Iruka tugged Tenzou towards him by one arm, humming softly in welcome. Tenzou sighed and slumped a little to rest his head against Iruka’s shoulder, and he hummed again, winding his left arm around Tenzou and rubbing his back, even as he twined his fingers with Kakashi’s and pulled at him on the other side. “They thought each of you was . . . two people. All four of whom I am somehow supposedly fucking around with.”

“What.” Kakashi’s eyes narrowed.

“They believe that for . . . reasons of my own,” Iruka said, disregarding why - it wasn’t true, and they were already upset, “I am _entertaining_ the Rokudaime Hokage, one of the Hokage’s guard ANBU, Yamato-taichou holder of the mokuton, and . . . a civilian photojournalist when they’re busy.” He raised his eyebrows.

Kakashi had the grace to look semi-apologetic, but it was mostly edged out by disbelieving curiosity. “I am . . . perhaps less concerned.” he admitted, and Iruka laughed, fingers tracing an idle pattern on Kakashi’s shoulder blade.

“I’m not sure,” Iruka said dryly, cuddling between his ridiculous, doting, still-tense jounin, “where they think I find the _time_ for four lovers. Three lovers and an occasional affair.” he corrected. “Let alone to keep up with them and keep them _secret_ from each other.”

Kakashi laughed against his shoulder, then kissed along it lightly, and Iruka shivered. “I don’t know where you find the time for everything you _do_ manage, koibito.” he said, and Iruka huffed a laugh.

“Practise. Kage bunshin. Efficiency.” Iruka countered, as he had many times before.

“Beloved?” Tenzou said quietly, fingers brushing softly over Iruka’s neck. “What happened here?”

Iruka sighed as Kakashi unerringly found the few bruises and scrapes on his upper body with light touches of his own. He told them how he had been caught - and fought - on his way back from the training ground he had chosen, and been dragged off to be threatened and ‘intimidated’ and have demands made.

Iruka allowed himself to be pulled up further to be inspected, even as he promised none of the wounds were serious, and told them how he had reluctantly ‘agreed’, feigning fear of the threats, and what had been demanded - Kakashi didn’t remember the files, and asked if he did indeed have access to them, and Iruka rolled his eyes but confirmed he could get at those things if he chose - and where and when he was to meet them.

It would be easy for T&I, properly prepared, to snatch them up, then if not sooner.

“I’m quite all right,” Iruka assured his lovers again, “I’m more embarrassed than anything; they were _terrible_ , that I got caught by such idiots. . .”

Kakashi growled and Tenzou tensed against his side. Iruka broke off. “I’m all right. I’m here with you, aren’t I?” he asked gently, cupping Kakashi’s jaw and squeezing Tenzou’s hand. He stifled a yawn, not quite fully, and Kakashi whined softly and nuzzled him as Tenzou murmured apologetically, cuddling closer.

“Sleep now?” Iruka asked, voice low, and laughed fondly as he was caught in affectionate, nuzzling kisses from either side. They settled down together once more, Iruka cosy between his jounin, and he sighed contentedly. Even if they were a little closer than usual, clinging. He didn’t mention it, happy enough to be clung to, now they were at least relaxed enough to rest.

Iruka was vaguely aware both of his lovers were still awake when he fell asleep, but they were calm, and he was exhausted. He didn’t worry about it.

Iruka woke when something shifted- Kakashi. Kakashi getting out of bed, which might _not_ have woken Iruka - Kakashi was light on his feet even for a ninja, and utterly silent when he chose - save that Kakashi’s arm had been tucked beneath him. “Mrm?”

“Be right back.” Kakashi promised, barely a breath, and slipped away. Iruka frowned, but he was still almost back to sleep by the time Kakashi returned from the bathroom a few minutes later, climbing into bed with cold, slightly damp hands. There was a warm, heavy shift at the foot of the big bed, too, and Iruka was familiar enough with his lover’s ninken that only a gentle nudge with the sole of one foot confirmed that it was them piled up there.

He didn’t question Kakashi or the ninken themselves - sometimes he summoned them when he was more on edge, and mostly Iruka and Tenzou both let it go unaddressed. So far as Kakashi’s idiosyncrasies went it was mostly harmless and amazingly steady. Given the events of the evening, it wasn’t too surprising that Kakashi had called them tonight.

Mostly asleep, Iruka stirred again when Tenzou rose shortly after. He grumbled a little, only just dozing, even when Tenzou settled at his back once more.

Iruka half-absently slid a hand over Tenzou’s hip, opening his eyes and inspecting Kakashi in the thin moonlight that made it around the curtains. He pulled back and sat up, huffing. Neither of his lovers moved.

Iruka prodded Kakashi firmly. “I told you,” he said, frowning, “I’m fine and I’d get to T&I in the morning to tell them everything and it would be handled. It would be _safer_ to collect them,” he continued as Kakashi opened his eyes and sat up, “when we know where they’ll be and they’re expecting just me. _Now_. . .” He sighed. “I’ll have this talk with the real you.” he said, shaking his head. “Later.”

Kakashi made an apologetic noise. “Worried, koibito. . . And if they’re in the village,” he added, and Iruka paused, letting him finish, “it’s a risk - a threat, not just to you, but-”

“The village is too big and too many people, ninja and civilian, live here to keep it tight to infiltration entirely, you know that.” Iruka sighed. Kakashi made a sulky noise but did not answer. “Oh, go away.” Iruka said grouchily, and hit Kakashi with a sudden sharp suiton.

He poofed into nonexistence and Iruka turned to Tenzou, who held up his hands apologetically. “Beloved, they need dealing with, and they _hurt_ you. . .”

Iruka groaned, letting himself fall back on the bed. “Of course. Of _course_ you couldn’t just _wait_ and let T&I handle it. Fine.” He shoved at Tenzou, turning on his stomach. The ninken shifted at the foot of the bed even as Tenzou obediently slid away.

“Iruka?” It was tentative, but not too much, coming from the ninken heaped down at the foot of the bed.

“You’re fine.” Iruka sighed into his pillow, then smiled as he felt Uuhei’s small paws and slender body moving up along one side. Bisuke, enterprising and cuddly, walked up Iruka’s back - deftly avoiding the spots where he ached from old wounds sometimes - and curled up at his shoulder blades. Bull stretched out in Tenzou’s spot as the wood clone backed away a little more.

Dratted crazy overprotective jounin, Iruka thought, shifting a little in the pile of dogs as they settled close and heavy around and over him.

He didn’t quite manage to get back to sleep before his lovers returned, but after a sharp glare, scowling at them, he let any further talk rest until later. The ninken whined and sulked but retreated back down to the foot of the bed - except for enterprising Bisuke, who snuggled against Iruka as he turned over; he rubbed the almost velvety fur behind one ear - as Kakashi settled in beside him once more.

Tenzou dealt with his wood clone and hesitated at the edge of the bed. Iruka beckoned and he joined them as well, cuddling into Iruka’s open arm. Kakashi edged up against his back, and Iruka sighed. “I suppose they’re handled?”

“You don’t need to go to T&I in the morning.” Tenzou said with a soft, almost hopeful look, ducking his head to press a kiss to Iruka’s collarbone. He sighed. That _was_ nice.

“We brought the rest of my ANBU detail along.” Kakashi said, hands sliding along Iruka’s sides. He hummed. That was more than he’d expected. And probably unnecessary.

“Good.” Iruka nodded. He reached for Kakashi’s arm and tugged at him.

“Are you angry?” Kakashi asked, nipping his shoulder affectionately.

Iruka laughed, closing his eyes. “I have two overprotective jounin,” he said wryly, “I am not _surprised_.” He paused. “Don’t leave clones behind any more.” He squeezed Tenzou around the waist. “I can tell.”

“We didn’t want you to be alone.” Tenzou said, stretching a little and letting an arm settle over Iruka.

“Or cold.” Kakashi added innocently. The ninken whined complaints and assurances from the end of the bed and Iruka laughed. Bisuke made a smug sound from where he was still tucked mostly between Kakashi and Iruka. “Hey!”

Iruka laughed louder, and Tenzou twitched with suppressed laughter of his own as Kakashi argued lightly with his ninken.

“They’re all locked up?” Iruka asked, and Tenzou kissed his cheek.

“Threat neutralised.” Tenzou assured him, and Iruka nodded, yawning. The argument subsided, the dogs resettling around their legs, and Kakashi tucked himself close against Iruka’s back.

“We’re here.” Kakashi said quietly, and Iruka smiled slightly, but nodded again, snuggling into Kakashi’s lean, hard body at his back and tugging at Tenzou, stroking up the back of his neck as he nudged a little nearer himself.

“Don’t let me miss school.” Iruka mumbled sleepily, vaguely aware of the assurances from his lovers as he lost track of the world.

**Omake:**

Koushoku signalled to his squad, working deeper into cover and preparing to edge away, hoping their traps might do something but . . . _no one_ wanted to face the Rokudaime Hokage in a fight, and that wasn’t what they’d come prepared for anyway.

Especially when he was out with his whole squad of ANBU guards. _Why_ was he out in the middle of the night, prowling his own village?

Koushoku shook his head and signalled again, and they all froze as he squinted, trying to make out the signs the ANBU were exchanging. He only knew a few fragments - Konoha were good at keeping their ANBU signs secret, one way or another - but he was sure if he tried he could make out-

They were hunting. Koushoku’s blood went cold. Why were they hunting spies in the village _tonight_?

. . .that chuunin-sensei. Surely he hadn’t been so stupid as to actually go beg his lover for help?

“Oh fuck.”

Koushoku’s eyes darted back to the Hokage. Kakashi was perfectly still.

“Senpai?” one of his ANBU - the one Koushoku was mostly sure was the one Iruka was entertaining when the Rokudaime Hokage wasn’t looking - stepped closer. Not only a guard but a _comrade_ from before he had become Hokage, then, likely. Koushoku’s lips twitched and he shook his head. It _was_ a shame Iruka truly was mostly loyal to his village; he was . . . something.

“Iruka’s woken up and realised . . . he just dispelled my clone.” Kakashi said, voice low and body tense, head tilted.

“Oh. Are we in trouble?” the ANBU asked, and what the _hell_ did he have on these powerful ninja to not only sway them - he _was_ pretty, and hell if Koushoku wouldn’t tumble him himself, given half the chance - but have them like _this_ worrying over his reactions? _In trouble?_ With a desk chuunin Academy sensei?

Kakashi shifted awkwardly. “. . .maybe.”

Koushoku looked at his jounin, who all wore expressions of curious disbelief that he was sure matched the one trying to take over his own face.

He looked back to Kakashi and his guards, but no more had he focused on the Rokudaime Hokage again than a strangled noise made him whirl. One of his squad was down between two ANBU _he hadn’t seen or sensed_. Koushoku leapt an instant before he realised there was a blow aimed for him, and rolled as he hit the ground, wincing - he wasn’t quite used to manoeuvring among trees like those in Hi no Kuni - turning it into a lunge. The ANBU he dove for moved rapidly out of the way, and with a quick flurry of blows that landed on neither side Koushoku rapidly found himself facing Kakashi instead.

He grit his teeth, glancing around to confirm he was alone. Still, against _this_ opponent. . .

Well, Koushoku had perhaps a few more cards to play in this fight. He grinned sharply. “Come after us to protect your little chuunin boyfriend?” He made a lewd gesture and smothered a laugh when Kakashi’s eyes narrowed.

Koushoku had to dodge quickly as Kakashi lashed out, and he saved his breath as he tried to avoid the rapid blows. It took longer than he would like to give himself enough space to continue.

“Do you know what he’s up to when you’re not around?” Koushoku taunted, then cut his eyes sideways - he had no time to keep up with his squad’s own battles, but he found the Cat-masked ANBU. He was conveniently nearby - of course, Koushoku thought, if he was Kakashi’s _old comrade_ , he would keep that particular ANBU close. And it would sting all the more. “Or who he has in his bed?”

Kakashi faltered. Koushoku held back his triumph.

“Perhaps _that_ is why he dismissed your clone, left to watch him, tonight.” Koushoku said, and affected a thoughtful expression. “Why not, after all?”

Kakashi didn’t answer, but his next blow went a little wide. Koushoku smirked.

“You know one of _your very own ANBU_ goes to his bed?” Koushoku gestured towards Cat. “Your little chuunin is fucking one of those you most _trust_ when you’re not looking.”

Kakashi stilled, and Koushoku stifled the urge to laugh even as he reached for another weapon.

“Oh, trust me,” Kakashi said in something that was almost a drawl, “I’m looking.”

Koushoku faltered.

“I quite _enjoy_ watching them, actually.” Kakashi continued, and Koushoku’s fingers twitched on the hilt of his sword.

“ _Senpai!_ ” Cat protested.

Koushoku swallowed. He hadn’t expected that, but- “So you _share_ with your,” he pulled a smirk on, “ _kohai_. He’s not the only one, you know.”

Kakashi made a non-committal noise, but his eyes were sharp. So Koushoku’s best card had not provoked the reaction he would expect; it wasn’t his only one. “What about one of your jounin? That one with the mokuton?” He forced a laugh. “It seems that your little chuunin has a taste for-”

“I am well aware of what he has a taste for.” Kakashi said lazily. “Speaking of things I enjoy.” _He_ laughed, and Koushoku’s stomach turned over uneasily.

Kakashi flipped the kunai he’d knocked from Koushoku’s grip lightly, then tossed it without breaking away from his gaze. He heard it lodge in flesh and flinched.

Kakashi cocked his head. “Such as when he uses his mokuton-”

“Senpai!” Cat was even louder this time.

“Of course, that’s not _all_ I do; I would never hold back from joining in myself.” Kakashi said pleasantly, and Koushoku jolted out of his shock to evade.

“There- There are more!” Koushoku added hurriedly, struggling to block. Even if there was only the one more he knew of. . .

He forced Kakashi to step aside with a swing of his sword, then stumbled as something caught around his ankle. His eyes widened as _mokuton_ swept up his body. “You- You may know about your pet ANBU,” and that had been more than unexpected, _fuck_ , “and your jounin-” Or _was_ it even another? With the mokuton Koushoku was now slashing at with his sword. . . “But what about his little civilian toy, that photographer?”

“Do you honestly think there’s anything I _don’t_ know?” Kakashi’s eyes crinkled, and he sounded _amused_.

 _No_ , Koushoku thought, mind racing. No- That _fucking chuunin_. Koushoku struggled to think of something, _anything_ , to use, a sinking feeling dragging at his stomach.

Cat stepped closer and the mokuton closed tight around Koushoku’s torso as he brought his hands higher. “I think _he_ knows entirely too much about _our Iruka_.” he said, voice low and hard. Koushoku opened his mouth to continue with another verbal jab and his ribs were suddenly compressed, knocking the air from him before the crushing mokuton surged higher still.

Iruka had _known_ , Koushoku thought under the rising, sickening panic; he’d _played_ Koushoku, and his whole squad, played them for fools as he played at terror and compliance, and must have been _laughing_ the moment Koushoku released him - letting him run right back to his powerful lovers. _All_ of them. Setting them on Koushoku and his squad.

“T&I will sort him out. All of them.” Kakashi said as blackness crept into Koushoku’s vision; the last thing he saw was the members of his squad, either dead or unconscious, being hauled up by Konoha ANBU. “Let’s go see-”

Koushoku succumbed to unconsciousness.

**Author's Note:**

> More detailed warning:  
> The primary antagonist assumes Iruka is keeping multiple lovers who do not know about each other or agree to this (incorrectly); Iruka does not disabuse them of this mistaken assumption to use it to his advantage; he and the other antagonists also make some derogatory and avaricious comments towards Iruka, and grab/prod him whilst restraining him. There's no actual dub-con and nothing goes any further than those taunts.
> 
> Joumae is, of course, Lock, a village in the Land of Keys from anime filler. They supposedly focus on intelligence and infiltration (though I'm told badly) so they seemed a good fit for this.  
> Reiketsu Kakashi - cold-blooded Kakashi  
> Nakamagoroshi no Kakashi - Kakashi the Friend-Killer  
> Koushoku is a noun; roughly translating to lewdness, lasciviousness, salaciousness


End file.
